It’s a shame Breaking Bad doesn’t air Sunday mornings at 11:00 a.m. The show’s ode to the most important meal of the day, through its main character’s fixation with the chemistry of cooking it, has become one of its quirkier trademark qualities and no show in history is meant to be enjoyed over a well-balanced breakfast, fixed with eggs, bacon, OJ, bran muffins, and 99-percent pure crystal meth quite like this one. But alas, 9 p.m. on Sunday evenings is the hand we were dealt.
So if you’re having a premiere party and have saved all the food shopping and cooking for the last minute, no worries! I have you covered with these patented delicious Breaking Bad themed recipes, guaranteed to be a hit at your party!
Jesse Pinkman’s Ricin Beans
Recipe Notes: You will probably need to empty your Roomba or check behind an outlet for the key ingredient. Also, if you serve this to your guests, you will poison them and they will die. Please serve sparingly.
Gustavo Fring’s Famous Chili
Recipe Notes: You will need an entire face to make this dish.
Mike Ehrmentraut’s Ear(mentrauts) of Corn
Recipe Notes: Please don’t put any pieces of real ear into this dish. And when your guests dine on it, please shut the fuck up and let them eat in peace.
Better Call Saulsalito Turkey Sandwiches
Recipe Notes: These sandwiches belong on the periphery of your party and should make an appearance every now and then to liven the mood. Please do not spin them off and make them a fixture of your party.
Recipe Notes: It’s always a good time to have breakfast.
A bucket of Los Pollos Hermanos original recipe
Recipe Notes: Ignore the people who think it’s tacky to bring fast food to a party. There’s a lot more power behind that Los Pollos Hermanos name than you think. A whole cartel clan died in the name of the original Hermanos chef. Meanwhile, Colonel Sanders isn’t even a real colonel. Not all fast food was created equally.
Recipe Notes: Make sure you have a plan of action to get the pizza off the roof once you throw it up there.
Recipe Notes: Like the head of the man who inspired this dish, these eggs should actually be scrambled (and should owe hundreds of thousands in tax fraud).
Marie Schrader’s Eggplant Parmesan
Recipe Notes: Don’t steal the eggplants. That makes for a totally boring story. Make sure your eggplants are the most godforsakenly deep shade of purple you can find.
Tio Salamanca’s Bell Pepper Fajitas
Recipe Notes: DING DING DING DING DING DING DING.
Borscht by Bogdon
Recipe Notes: They say food cooked with love is more delicious. Borscht by Bogdon, a traditional Eastern European delicacy, is most delicious when cooked by a man with unreasonably bushy eyebrows.
Skyler’s Silver Dollar Stack o’ Pancakes
Recipe Notes: Originally inspired by a woman very good at stacking dollars. Make sure batter has not been sitting out in a storage facility for three months.
Don Heladio’s Turtle Soup
Recipe Notes: Served best with the head of Danny Trejo.
Recipe Notes: It’s a delectable blend of French and ranch dressings. Goes best with tater tots and evil German accents.
A Keg of Schraderbraü
Recipe Notes: Must be kegged. Bottles will make for a nightmare cleanup.
Sweet Walter White Wine
Recipe Notes: This is a real beverage.
'HIMYM' Whipped Cream Salad, 'Caddyshack' punch, 'Sleepwalk With Me' Neck pillow pizza and 'Breaking Bad' blue cake.
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Wherever in the world novelty food items break, our fad food correspondent, Jon Gabrus, will be there to eat it and report back. Have a tip? Send it to us at CHWanderlunch@Gmail.com
Yes, College Humor did in fact send Jon Gabrus to Dubai just to eat the infamous pizza.
Shooting the Austin episode of No Reservations at Franklin’s. Tony takes his social media seriously!
Thanks to Helen Cho who is the social media goddess of the No Reservation empire.
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Tony’s Travels - A Globe-Trotting History of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations
Thank you to Buzzfeed for reminding me that purple ketchup was a thing (as was green ketchup).
RIP 3D Doritos, Butterfinger BBs, Crispy M&Ms.
This looks good. Ben & Jerry’s love their pop culture referring flavors, even if they’re always based on jam bands.
Pop culture named food is a funny thing. Mexican chain Moe’s might be my favorite in the category - naming burritos and salsa after Seinfeld and The Usual Suspects.
What’s your favorite pop referring food?